A thought came to me this morning. Proufound yet simplistic. I have no idea where it came from or why, but I am glad for it.
Stop trying to be perfect.
I don’t know when I started trying to be perfect, and I don’t know why, I only know I’ve been doing it for a long, long time. It makes me crazy, it makes those around me crazy and it accomplishes nothing because no one can be perfect. When you have a goal like that you cannot reach, it can only make you miserable. I haven’t actually felt miserable, at least not consistently, but I have felt very unhappy. Unhappy is something I know well.
This has nothing to do with anyone else. This is something I’ve been doing to myself. I want to make that very clear. This is something I do to myself for reasons unknown to me. I don’t really care about the reasons, I just know that it’s time to stop.
I was staring out the bathroom window when this thought occurred to me out of nowhere. As soon as I acknowleged it and realized I didn’t have to be perfect, a tremendous sense of joy overcame me. I hope I can keep this in my focus. I hope I can let go of whatever burdens I have put upon myself and continue to feel this freedom. Old habits die hard, but they will eventually die if you stop feeding them.
Does this sound crazy? Maybe. But I’m posting it anyway. Maybe sharing this can help make it real. Maybe I really can be content with myself the way I am, and stop trying to become something that I cannot be… that I never could be to begin with.
This is always a sticky wicket. “stop trying to be perfect” The real issue, I think, is that you are NOT HAPPY with who you are NOW (this is a bold statement and isn’t directed at you personally, but is meant as a general statement about people).
Striving for perfection is not a bad thing - in fact it is admirable. Its only bad if you are perpetually unsatisfied with who you are today. You can continue to strive for perfection, as long as you have a healthy realization that Perfection, like Infinity, can be approached, but never reached.
That sounded a bit preachy, but I didn’t mean it like that. Just opening up the discussion, is all
Nope, not preacy at all. That’s a good way to put it. I think ‘perfect’ in my case is more of a way of putting stress on myself. It’s a feeling that nothing I do is ever good enough.
So many subtle meanings of the word. But that is the nature of the English language, isn’t it?
And then there’s the “no one can do [whatever] the right way, so I *must* do it all, every time” . . . never mind that no one cares, most of the time, so long as whatever it is gets done. I don’t necessarily think I have to be perfect, just *better*. No one else expects it, so it’s obviously my own personal weirdness. I’m the oldest child, and I suspect that has a lot to do with it.
It’s gotten a lot better as I’ve aged, but it’s still there, and it still pops up unexpectedly . . . I’ve just gotten a little better at ignoring that inner voice. One of the good things about growing older.
I have struggled with these same issues for years. I just read two great books that I would highly advise for anyone trying to be “perfect”. Miguel Ruiz wrote the Four Agreements, but his BEST books are Mastery of Love and The Voice of Knowledge. I borrowed them from MY local library and I don’t want to give them back. I don’t think I will ever be the same. I am a Christian, too. These books can be applied to every religion, but use quotes and stories from the Bible.