Chasing Grace

I have this aversion to food lately. Not when we are dining out. When we are out and about, and we stop for a snack or a meal, I my appetite is fine. I actually have a difficult time not ordering everything on the menu, and yes I’ll have fries with that. No, it’s when I am at home. I just don’t feel like eating lately.

It isn’t that I need to cook when I’m at home. We don’t keep a lot of ‘convenience foods’ in the house. We buy mostly fresh, basic ingredients and make our own dishes from scratch. But I love to cook, so that’s not the problem. Maybe it’s nerves, because I can’t relax here anymore. Sometimes after I’ve eaten, I get a stomach ache, so I’m leaning more toward the ‘nerves’ thing.

Consequently I’ve been feeling lightheaded. It’s that lightheaded feeling you get when you are ‘dieting’ - i.e. not eating nearly enough - in an effort to shrink yourself. I was a bit worried about the lightheadedness, thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me, until I remembered this is how I used to feel years ago when I practiced the starvation method of weight loss. (I don’t recommended it, by the way, it’s a good way to make yourself very sick and you only gain all the weight back quickly once you start eating normally again).

Today I made some kielbasa with onions and mustard on-the-side. It was super yummy with a nice cold Guinness. I enjoyed my lunch, and suddenly no longer feel lightheaded. Go figure. So I’m going to have to make an effort to prepare meals when I’m by myself and stop trying to get by on string cheese and granola bars.